Well it seems that any readers I have had disappeared, but that is ok for me. I hope that once we open up and tell my family and close friends they will take the interest and read this.
So Peter and I have been talking. Which is always a good thing, a good relationship is built on a good line of communication. We are trying to figure out if we would like to go through CAS or we would like to go private. Right now I think I want to learn more about adopting a foster child, and it seems Peter is still on the fence and would like to learn more about both.
My side of it is, I don't like surprises. I know that no matter what in life we aren't guaranteed anything. The same comes with children. If you have a biological child there is no rule that says there won't be problems. If you go through a private adoption with the sole interest in getting a healthy baby, again there are no promises. But with going through foster care at least they can set you up with the classes and help you would need fully knowing what kind of problems the child has at the time of coming in your home. Just because people have certain problems doesn't mean everyone doesn't deserve love. I think no matter what as we find out more and learn and keep that open line of communication we will figure it all out. I have faith.
So today I was at AW's house. I got to spend a lot of time with J and K. Both a lot more responsive to me and I had fun with them. Also spent time with A. All very adorable and all come from different backgrounds with different stories. I don't see that in them, I see just 3 seperate children with different personalities. They are well taken care of and provided with outside love even from outsiders like me. I am learning more each time I get to spend time with them. Little bits of sign language whether it is universal or their own special kind that AW uses with them for communication. Watching these small little creatures like sponges using such a diffent form is amazing to me. They astound me with how they grow and adjust to their situation.
I now have a new nickname as well that makes me laugh that I have to share. with all my biological neice and nephews I was always called Auntie Kafryn. It stuck so bad that people outside of my family would tease me and call me Kafryn, that I didn't appreciate. But today K starting acutally calling me Auntie Katie, as I have been dubbed by AW. But in K's cute little speech (her only being 4) she calls me Hantie Hatie. Each child has their own way of speaking when they are younger and it takes some time to be able to catch what they are saying at times. Heck I have an 8 year old nephew who sometimes I have problems understanding him because he is missing his front 2 teeth. But K can't properly pronounce the K or C sound. But like in any situation I am adapting along with her and with patience and listening carefully I now understand how to work around that and communicate properly.
J can definitely keep a smile on my face that is for sure. For example he was playing with a little motorized fan that he was having a ball with. K would throw bird seed on the blue thing he was sitting on and he had a blast blowing the seed away. he thought it was the funniest thing in the world, and honestly is there any better sound in this world then a child's laughter? So innocent and pure and only sometimes he understands why he is laughing but no matter what it is contagious. The joys of an innocent mind, something that we unfortunately lose when we get older. If only I could bottle that sound and listen to it whenever something in my adult life bothers me.
They remind me that no matter what to take those small memories and store them deep and keep that smile on my face. Remember to always stop and enjoy those simple days and the small victories we receive. Keep that innocent child laughter in our brains and let it out once in awhile. He doesn't stop and dwell on the fact that he is in a foster home, he lives for the moment and enjoys what he has. Such a beautiful little boy who even though he isn't in my life on a daily basis, he has taught me so much. Stuff that I might have known once upon a time but let slip to the wayside.
Children are amazing. And no matter the age good communication can always bring a smile to someones face. I must try and remember that at all times.
xox Kate xox