So yesterday was a big day for Peter and I.
We got my mom and my dad together sat down with them and told them everything we had been going through. I braced myself expecting the worst, maybe I have ready too many blogs and posts from people online. But honestly I went in to it so nervous that Peter had to do the talking. Even though it was my parents. But nope they were through the roof excited for us. Very happy and very supportive. What a load off my shoulders!! We talked for a couple of hours and then it was off to talk to AW and for keeping with the theme AM (Amazing Man) who is AW's husband (obviously :P)
We went there around 5:30pm and we talked for so long that halfway through AM ended up bringing us food and treats. It was so much information to take in and listening to the good and bad stories that come along with adoption with the certain types of children that are available in the system and listening through something hard they are currently going through with one of their children. So all in all it turned out to be very educational, emotional and thereputic for all 4 of us.
I feel a lot better now knowing that so many people are behind us. The most amazing thing I could have heard all night is just as we were leaving AW and AM's house Am looked at us and said I have been watching you with all the kids (both theirs and my nephews came over because my nephew is best friends with their son L) And he looked at us and simply said, you will do fine the way I see it is you guys are naturals. I walked down their driveway feeling as though I was floating on a cloud!
We still have other family members to let in on our little secret before I can publically release this blog but now I don't feel any fear whatsoever telling them now because I know no matter what I have people on my side. And honestly with all that I have been going through reading, researching and doing my soul searching I think that is all I can ask for.
So for now I think we are going to go through CAS, and learn more about it through them and find what kind of child would be best suited for us. I would still like to go through with the garage sale to save up just incase Private then becomes the next option. So I am going to ask my friends and family members soon to donate their items that they no longer wish to have in their homes so that it can raise money for me. I really can't see myself asking for money unless someone wishes to they can ask me and I can post a link on my blog for my paypal account.
So the first steps will happen as soon as all family members know and then we can get the ball rolling make the first appointment, sit down with a social worker and get this going. It could take a long time for a child or a baby to come into our home but this is it! The decisions have been made, the ball is on its course and last step a child!
It has been brought up to me in simple topic if I would perfer a girl or a boy. Of course like any parent who has actually had a child inside them like clock work I answered "oh it doesn't matter" But I think about it and they both have pros and cons. But my biggest con for a girl, is I don't have that girly factor to me. I can't see myself dressing a girl in dresses and bows and frills being like oh how pretty. Finger in mouth action comes to mind right there lol. I am not equipped to deal with the whole girly girly drama attitude. My neice when she was a little girl was such a tomboy, and I could relate so well with her and now it is all about makeup, hair and her clothing. So even though I only have one neice, I really can't relate to her anymore. It makes me sad because my interests lie on football, reading writing and nothing to do with her crazy boy attitude. Now of course I don't love her any less and I try and find common ground but it just seems like such a stretch. I love when she comes over and sleeps over at my house cause it gives me more insight on how she is and maybe I can learn. So a girl kinda scares me if truth be told. Boys you can be all rough and tumble get dirty and not have them cry about it. But then again I guess that is just a once upon a time stereo type. I could end up with a boy who is all about appearances. *sigh* Catch 22.
I guess in the end no matter what sex of child I get I will learn as I go. They will constantly educate me everyday and that excites me. To be able to watch someone grow and become who they are meant to be is just an amazing idea. No matter who they become I will still love them no matter what.
As AW taught me, don't put the if out into the universe. Its I WILL become a mother, I WILL be a good mother and my son/daughter IS going to come into our home. My husband WILL become a father, he WILL be a good father. When you put the vibes out there only then will you achieve your goals.
Till tomorrow *and yes oops I skipped a day, I was so emotionally drained yesterday I didn't post*
xox Kate xox