You know, I consider myself to be very lucky right now. I mean I could hit the lottery lucky, oh wait I already did. I won the lottery of people in my life. I seriously couldn't ask for any better right now. Of course I have those people who yes, they are my family but you could never tell unless it was Christmas or some other family gathering. You know the type with the pleasantaries of the Oh hi, how are you what is new? But really they aren't listening to you. They don't care what you have to say because you aren't a part of their regular day life.
But then there are those that fit into one of two categories. Those who are in your life on a constant basis and want nothing but good for you. Those you automatically think to turn to when you are down or are in need. And the second category is those you don't always see and don't speak to them on a constant basis, but when push comes to shove they are right there for you. Coming up with ideas for you, making sure that they come out to do what they can to see you succeed and get what you have always wanted. That is where I won the lottery. I have both kinds. Those who are on a daily basis of course are special to me, but it really warms the heart when the other category comes out swinging.
I seen two of those categories in one day today. You all know about the AW. I have been feeling that impatience/excitement that I explained earlier. I really want CAS to come forth with the information session so I can start this process. My huge fear in all of that is I don't know when the next one will be if I don't get into this one. The last one was 9 months ago in January. I really don't want to wait 9 months just to get into an information session. So after talking to my SIL for a bit and wishing my niece and nephews a good first day of school tomorrow, I went over to see AW and AM. I knew that I could talk freely and openly about my fears and maybe reduce some of this angst. And 100% I walked away from their house feeling that. They informed me of so much more that I didn't even know came with adoption. The books definitely don't inform you of the inside stuff.
I didn't know that I am allowed to change the child's name to what I see fit. It is a lot easier to do it to an infant than an older child who is used to their name. But yes, I can actually name my child. I thought that was extremely cool! I thought once the birth mom named the child that was it. But I was incorrect. Or if I like the name, that is it just leave the name and I can change the middle name. I was under the assumption that I could only change their last name. I also learned that you have a lot of contact with the foster mom (if CAS works out that is and not through private) And you don't only have home visits. You actually go into the home they are in first to get to know them then they add in the home visits at your place or residence. I thought it was going to be akward for the child to find out that they make it as comfortable as possible for all parties involved. Amazing! AW is like a well of wisdom, and I have said it once and I will say it again. she is WONDERFUL!!!!! I am so lucky to have her in my life especially during this process.
Then we come to the people who we don't always get together, but we do chat and are always on a friendly basis. My dear cousin (who as you will learn in my blog blood doesn't always mean good) is not my actual cousin. We have known each other since before I have memories! We grew up with each other and she is and always will be known as my cousin. This beautiful woman decided to come forth and bring up an idea of making baskets to raffle off at my garage sale. Put some items in a basket and sell raffle tickets, have people sign their tickets with their name and phone number and all proceeds go toward the adoption! Such a great idea, that I didn't come up with, and she was more than willing to share with me. How nice is that???? So she is willing to walk me through the process as she has done this before, and I have no experience. It isn't about money it is about the time that people put into coming up with ideas and helping me out. And I know you read this blog as you have told me so THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
And then there of course those who haven't written, called or done anything to help, express their thoughts or their kind words. Maybe they don't agree with what I am doing. I don't have anyone in my family who has adopted nor is adopted. So maybe their views are their own and I am fine with that. Because really I would perfer them to keep their mouths shut on the situation. They are real blood family who will comment on everything and hold events and expect people to come to them, but when you need them and ask them to help they become invisible and magically disappear.
We have people come in and out of our lives and different intervals, some we are lucky to have and some we have no choice. Life is funny that way. But for those who I have chosen to have and those who are in my life but not as much as I like, I have won the lottery with you guys. I hope that one day I can be there and pay back the love and kindness you have been showing me and I know you will continue to show me till and even after my child comes into my home. You are the best people I could ask for and I can't thank you enough.
2 posts in one day....what can I say I had to make up for missing 2 days in a row.
xox Kate xox