It is miserable out there. Gray skies and raining. Bleh. But sometimes I love the rain, it is so soothing and gives you that out to be as lazy as you want. Not that I didn't get some chores done today and more work done for the Garage sale lol. But before I did any of that I watched one of my favourite movies. Forrest Gump.
It is such an amazing movie, no matter how many times I see it I smile at the same parts, I laugh at the same spots and even get a little choked up at some parts. But no matter what the story stays the same, and it is always so good! Such a simple man, living an extra-ordinary life. He doesn't want much in the world other than the love of Jenny, and to do everything to make everyone happy. And at the end of it, to be the best father he can be to a little boy he didn't know was his. Then a mom and a dad to that same little boy.
It is kinda like what I am going through now. All I want to do is love that special little child that could be out there, or is waiting to be born. I don't know that child but I will always do the best I can for him/her. No matter what I want to love that child and make them happy. Now I won't run for 3 years, or ever own a shrimping company. I will never receive a medal of honour for being an intrigal part of a war, or become a ping pong champion. But no matter what at the end of the day he was the best Forrest he could be. And at the end of the day I have to strive to be the best Kate I can be.
I need to be the best I can be, because I know at the end of the day no matter what I have said or done, negative or positive even though it may not seem like it there will be little eyes and ears absorbing everything I have said and done. I need to start practicing those measures every day now. Watch the swearing, the bad things I might do. I need to prepare. I know that I won't always be a perfect person but striving to be the best me I can be is easily in sight.
Forrest made it seem all so simple, but of course I must step back and remind myself that it was simply Tom Hanks. He was playing a role, a script that made so that Forrest was the way he was. I have no script to refer to in my life when thing don't seem to go the way I want them to be, or expect them to be. I like to have control of what is happening in my own life, and I need to realize that all that control goes out the window when there is a child involved. My routine will be all messed up, my chores won't always get done. But I am pretty sure I can handle all of that.
I don't want my children (or child ) to ever be "raised" by tv. My ideals tell me that there is always something more educational you can do with a child. There are games to play books to read and other things that can be done. But I know that on a rainy day like today there would be nothing better than to snuggle up with my kid and show them good movies every once in awhile like Forrest Gump. I think we can all learn a little something from Forrest.
xox Kate xox