Just another day

It's just another day in my little world.  

 

I do realize though that for anyone who doesn't know me personally I have yet to introduce myself.  So for those of you who take time to read my blog *waves hello*

 

My name is Kate.  I live in Ontario, Canada.  I don't think age is important when it comes to life, but if I had to put a number to it my earthling years number is 31 - as you can tell I have a sense of humour.  I am very often reffered to as a funny person.  I am also a very blunt person.  I don't believe in lying and sugar coating the truth.  My motto is tell the truth and let the person be mad and get over it faster, tell a lie they will be more mad and stay that way longer.  End the torture with a quick rip of the bandaid.  I am not perfect in any sense of the meaning, and I like it that way.  I like being me and being a little off the conventional wall.  I have been with my husband Peter since Feb 15,2003.  Married since October 1, 2005.  We are quickly coming up on our 8th year wedding anniversary and gaining in on the 11th year together.  

 

Peter is the best man I could have ever asked for in my life.  He doesn't want me to change, he loves who I am even though I can be quite abrupt.  I tend to stick to routine where he perfers to be spontaneous, we balance each other out well.  

 

Other than the basics of my favourite colour and that I have 3 cats, I don't know what to tell you.  Hence the dilema in writing an adoption resume.  If there is anything you would really and truely like to know about me let me know.  

 

I do believe it was my first post that I mentioned being introduced to one of the most amazing people I have ever met.  For confidentally reasons and legal reasons names won't be mentioned when I talk about this lady or any of her foster children.  

 

I received word that one of the children who I have become particularly attached to recently her mother received some good news.  "K" as I will call her is quite young and in the care of "AW" (I will nickname her Amazing Woman)  My SIL called me and told me that K's mother had passed her house examination and needed 2 reliable baby-sitters to be on call for her in order to get her 3 children back.  Now "K" stole my heart the first day I met her.  She was so shy and quite and wouldn't talk to me but kept her eye on me the whole time I was around her.  I told her it was fine she should only talk to me when she felt comfortable.  I wasn't going to push myself on her.  Well with in an hour she was all over me.  Her story is an unfortunate one, but living in foster care has allowed her mother to do what it takes to get her children back to her.  And my sole belief that if a child has the chance and the parent is willing to do what it takes that child would be better off with the biological family.  So I agreed to be one of those babysitters that if needs be she can call me and I will be there to help her out.  

 

Now there is "J" he is a very young one in "AW"s care.  He has been born with Fetal Alcohol syndrome.  AW has been working with him on sign language and he is adapting very well with it, and learning to communicate.  From what I have learned a lot of FA syndrome babies, have difficulties with the learning process, and may grow up unable to read or do anything on their age level.  J get's frustrated very easily and results in beating his head off things.  It can be quite scary but when you learn that is his way and take care of it in a timely manner, he is able to settle down quite well.  His parental figures have relinquished their rights to parent J.  

 

I find these children to be a learning experience as well as I find myself very lucky to have them in my life.  They are such sweet children and they are learning to adapt in a "non-ideal world"  It makes me wonder what kind of adoption should we be going for?  Should we go through CAS and help a foster child have a loving family, even though problems come these children because of substance abuse, other abuse or simple feeling of neglect - don't biological children have the same issues?  No child is absolutely perfect no matter what bias a parent has.  We all have our issues even if raised in the "ideal home"  All children no matter if biological or adopted need love care support and someone who is going to be there for them no matter what problems arise.  

 

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to go through classes to learn on how to deal with specific problems that are already known of a child, rather then have them pushed on you because you think you got that "perfect" child.  I don't want to pursue adoption with people having the notion that I am doing it just to get that perfect child, or that I am buying a child.  Both are very untrue statements. 

 

I have come across a lot of negativity in forums, and places where people are asked for their opinions.  I have never asked the question in a public forum other than my blog. People think that adopting is the same as buying a child, they think it brings a child up in a home where more hurt is going to be put upon them because it steals their identity and robs them of their biological parents.  I have even read horror stories where people have found their biological parents and dis-owned their adoptive parents stating "you are dead to me".  I understand that it is a world of trying to understand the pain of a child growing up in a world that wasn't what they were born into.  But I also believe that all children deserve a home where they can be given the chance to thrive and shine as the human they were put on this earth for.  I know what it feels like to be neglected and abandoned.  I know the pain of having your father walk away and decide you aren't the right daughter for him and go to raise another one.  I know what it is like to wonder every day what you did for your father to not love you anymore.  But I guess in a world of over 6 billion people negativity is bound to be found at every corner, it is what you do with that negativity that makes it a whole new situation.  We can adapt and brush it off or we can listen to what others say and find a way to put a positive spin on it.

 

All I know is I have lived and learned, and I am continuing every day to learn about what it takes to raise a child knowing that there are going to be issues and making sure I pursue every avenue to understand the process.  I have leanred from my own expereinces and look forward to what each and every experience will bring into my life.  

 

Still a lot of un answered questions.  CAS or private, how to pay for it all, how to continue to better myself while making sure to mold and better a small life.  I think maybe I need to sit down and talk to AW and find out how she got her strenght and does such amazing things every day.  

 

Well that is what has come out of my brain today.

 

Till tomorrow

xox  Kate  xox

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