So today I am having a pretty good day!
I woke up this morning and decided that even though my allergies have been driving me nuts I went for a walk to a local grocery store and the library. I am paying for it but it was good.
I bought some chicken and decided to make chicken noodle soup in the crockpot. yesterday was a big roast. Apparently I have chosen the crock pot lately lol. That is ok, it makes left overs and really good food. Leftovers are always good when on a budget and they keep me knowing my husband is well fed at work too, not having to go to a restaurant or anything.
But there is one thing. I hate the feel of raw meat. I know that might sound weird but it is just so gross. So as I sat there cutting the chicken into the meaty chunks for the soup I got lost in thought. I started wondering......what kind of mother am I going to be?
Every woman has this thought as some time in their life whether or not they are pregnant. We all have our favourite childs name chosen when we are barely even old enough to go through puberty. But while caught up in chosing those names the thought does come across of what kind of child we want to raise and what kind of mother we will turn out to be.
No matter what styles, morals and ways we want to do things I think all women have the same goal. To be the perfect mother. We want to see our children strive to do their best, and turn out to be the best kid that they can be, and an even better adult. Do I want to be that mother? Absolutely. I want to know at the end of all the waiting, impatience, excitement that I will have raised the best child I possibly could. So what kind of mother will I be?
Will I be the mother I expect to be? The kind that is in my head? Probably not. The way I think and the way things will actually happen are most likely going to be two different things. In my head I see myself being the strict, yet loving mother who wants my child to be well educated and have good manners. I want to be the mother that instills in my child the meaning of loving others and caring for others and the true meaning of giving back. I want to be the mom who always makes time for their child no matter what and is never "too busy" I want to play games and watch them smile when they achieve even the smallest accomplishments. I want to instill the sense of routine, and make sure they are always learning. I want to take them on trips and show them about the different aspects of the world. I want over any of those things for my child to know they are special and extremely loved.
Ok so maybe I am wrong after reading what I just put out in writing maybe it isn't so hard to obtain those things to have my perfect child. Things may not always turn out to be the way I want them to be or the way I expect them to be at the time that I am in the moment. But at the end of the day all that matters is that my child and as healthy as they can be. I may not end up with the cleanest house that I try and keep up right now, I may end up stressed out and tired, and I may doubt myself every once in awhile if I am doing what is right for my child. But as long as I keep the child's best interest in mind I guess I can only be the best mom that I put forward.
To My future child.
- I promise to show you every day how much you are loved
- I promise to listen to you when you need me
- I promise to keep you as safe as I can without smothering you
-I promise to always make time for you
-I promise to be the best mom to you that I can be
So looks like writing things out really does help. All I know is that I am going to be the best darned mom that I can be. Hiccups will happen, but that is life. We roll with the punches and as long as Peter and I, and our future child stick it out together we will be fine.
I have a house that needs tending to, so I will end it here!
xox Kate xox